How to Move on After an Affair in Your Relationship

Infidelity in a relationship can be devastating, leaving all those involved feeling lost, confused, and unsure of how to move forward.

According to some recent infidelity statics in the UK, one in five British adults admitted to having had an affair.

This betrayal can shake and destroy the foundation of trust that the relationship is built upon, leaving many wondering if and how they can move on from this.

In this article, we will explore strategies for rebuilding trust, finding forgiveness, and ultimately moving on after infidelity has occurred in a relationship.

Understanding And Processing Emotions

When faced with the aftermath of infidelity in a relationship, it is essential to start by acknowledging and processing the emotions that you may be feeling such as betrayal, guilt, and shame to name a few.

This is often very difficult as the partner who has been cheated on in the relationship can initially try not to feel anything in order to ‘protect’ themselves, however it is important that you allow yourself to feel to then to begin to move forward.

Then, by allowing yourself to feel these feelings such as anger, sadness, confusion, and even moments of hopelessness, you are giving yourself permission to work through these feelings rather than burying them deep inside.

It is important to acknowledge that like the process of grief that everyone experiences and copes with emotions differently, there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to internally navigate this period.

Initially, as you enter your emotional landscape post-infidelity, consider seeking support from trusted friends who can simply help indulge everything that you are feeling.

If you are not yet ready to speak to a professional then try to find resources, engage productive therapeutic activities such journaling your thoughts, practicing mindfulness techniques, immersing yourself in creative outlets or physical activities.

Then as time begins to pass and you are looking to process and move forward, then potentially look at speaking to a counsellor, therapist, professional such as someone from Empowered Counselling Services based in Wigan.  

When exploring your feelings with a professional, you will be able to look deeper beneath the surface and look deep within yourself to examine both you and the relationship with a view to it not being repeated again in the future both in this relationship (if there is forgiveness) or in a new one with a new partner.

Remember that healing takes time and patience; allow yourself the space to grieve what was lost while gradually moving towards acceptance and if it is right for you and your circumstances - forgiveness.

Additionally, for the sake of clarity, forgiveness, does not mean that you are ready to condone the affair, to condone the cheating, however it is that you are ready to move on from it and no longer allow it to govern your life.

Transitioning from hurt and betrayal into rebuilding trust and communication requires a foundation built on understanding, communication and processing emotions effectively.

However trust cannot be restored without addressing these underlying emotions that stem from betrayal, guilt, shame, etc.

Then once you are ready to embrace vulnerability and openness in communication it will pave the way for honest dialogues about expectations, boundaries, and fears moving forward in the relationship.

Rebuilding Trust and Communication

Rebuilding trust and communication after infidelity in a relationship is like trying to mend a broken bridge between two people.

Sometimes the gap is simply too wide to fix and sometimes when it isn’t, it requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to be vulnerable.

Communication then becomes the key to rebuilding this bridge and to unlocking the barriers that have been put up as a result of betrayal.

However, one of the very issues prior to the infidelity may have been the breakdown in communication and it may help for them seek out couples therapy so that you can learn to communicate once again.

In couples therapy or marriage counselling you will re-learn to use active listening, empathy, and validation which will help to play crucial roles in this process.

When both partners are open and honest with each other about their feelings and concerns, it paves the way for potential healing and reconciliation.

Honesty may lead to revelations that there were signs of cracks already beginning to form.

For example, were ‘The Four Horsemen’ prevalent or were the multiple negative patterns of behaviour that formed in the relationship?

It is key that a ‘safe space’ is created whether that is at home, somewhere neutral or in couples therapy for example at Empowered Counselling Services where open dialogue allows each partner to explore and express themselves without fear of judgment or retribution.

It's important to remember that rebuilding trust is not an overnight process, it takes time consistent recognized effort from both parties to repair what has been damaged.

It is an allowance that the partner who was cheated on, through their hurt and pain may ‘lash out’ emotionally or verbally to the partner who has cheated and it is a willingness for the cheating partner to soak up some of that hurt whilst trying to make amends.

Small gestures of affection, acts of kindness, and words of reassurance all with sincerity can go a long way towards rebuilding the foundation of the relationship.

As trust begins to grow again, so does the strength of the bond between partners.

Transitioning into seeking support and professional help can further aid in navigating through the complexities of rebuilding trust and communication post-infidelity.

By engaging with therapists or counselors who specialize in couples therapy, both individuals can gain valuable insights into their emotions, behaviors, and patterns that may have contributed to the infidelity.

Seeking outside assistance demonstrates a shared commitment towards growth and healing within the relationship.

Seeking Support And Professional Help

When faced with the aftermath of infidelity in a relationship, seeking support and professional help can be crucial in moving forward.

However, after an initial affair it may be the partner that has been cheated on that may need to seek individual therapy to help to process their emotions. Through this process it can help them to find the clarity that they need to move forward in their chosen direction.

Likewise it may be the person that has cheated themselves after speaking with their partner may need to seek individual therapy again to find their own clarity and to look at why they had the affair.

Questions can then arise such as:

• Was affair a result of many other issues?

• Can the relationship be saved?

• Do either of you want to save the relationship?

Likewise it may be after individual therapy or by both seeking guidance together from a therapist or counsellor, to help to navigate your feelings, address underlying issues, and learn effective communication strategies to potentially heal and move past the betrayal.

This external support provides a safe space for both individuals to express themselves openly and work towards rebuilding their relationship.

In times of emotional turmoil, having an objective third party can offer valuable insights and perspectives that may not have been considered otherwise.

Therapists can guide couples through difficult conversations, help them explore their emotions, and provide tools for managing conflicts constructively.

Additionally, finding resources, books such as “What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal” or joining support groups can offer reassurance and encouragement during the healing process.

Remember, it is okay to ask for help – everyone deserves support when facing challenges in relationships.

By actively engaging in therapy or seeking assistance from professionals, individuals can gain clarity in your feelings, develop coping mechanisms, and establish healthy boundaries moving forward.

The journey towards rebuilding trust after an affair is not easy but with the right support systems in place, couples can emerge stronger than ever before.

Together, you can work towards restoring trust, fostering open communication, and ultimately creating a foundation for a healthier and more resilient relationship.

Conclusion

Moving on after an affair in a relationship requires understanding and processing emotions, rebuilding trust and communication, and seeking support.

It's important to acknowledge that the original relationship and what it was built upon is over, the healing will now take time and effort.

However, with patience, commitment and communication, it is possible to rebuild and reforge a stronger and healthier relationship.

Remember, don't be afraid to seek help along the way if needed.